It may be the suspicion of many wives that their husband’s proclivity for lewd sexual material might be affecting their own relationship in a negative way. How this issue is resolved has a lot to do with perspective and what one seeks out of a relationship. Perspective is also greatly determined by one’s set of values, moral and otherwise. If both parties to a marriage are of same life values and seek similar things out of the relationship, then you have an environment where you can discuss this topic and work towards a conclusion. Sometimes this is not the case, and the different preferences and values of the individuals at play are the only considerations that really matter.
Many men believe that pornography is completely acceptable, due to the fact that nobody is harmed and that you never actually “cheated.” Many men and women will probably agree with this perspective, but that doesn’t make it automatically the truth. In fact, it doesn’t guarantee that pornography will fit well into your relationship at all.
Discussing the pros and cons of pornography with our partners, rather than just trying to make the decision quickly without much forethought is the way to ensure harmony. The pros of pornography in a relationship are that for the individual enjoying the pornography, they feel they are getting something they need or perhaps lack from their actual partner, in a way that it isn’t harmful to their partner. Another positive is that pornography can take some of the burden off the sex life, if one partner has greater sexual needs. If both parties accept pornography playing a role in the relationship, then it should be a positive experience. Some couples even find it romantic to play pornography videos during or prior to love-making to inspire sensuality.
The downside to pornography being in your romantic life is that it can potentially lead to neglect of a partner or hurt feelings. If you are the person frequenting pornography in a relationship, it may be fruitful to ask yourself if you are doing that in a healthy way or if you are doing it at the expense of the needs of your partner. If it is the latter, certainly a meaningful conversation is in order within the relationship, to attempt to reconcile the differences regarding what is acceptable from a sexual outlet point of view. Rather than submerging a sexual desire you have, if your partner is not supportive of it, you may want to consider seeking a new partner with similar sexual values as you.